death and taxes

After I graduated college and started making some money, I set up a mint.com account to track my finances and budget.  I loved all the detailed graphics and analysis tools that I had at my disposal and also the feeling of "adult-ness" that came from worrying about grown-up things like loan repayments and 401(k) contributions.

Well, that feeling only lasted about 6 months.  Who knew that budgets were so hard to keep?  At the time, my version of sticking to a budget involved just increasing the amount of money allocated toward a certain category if I overspent.  Spend $100 more than my monthly allowance for clothing in May? No worries! I can just raise June's amount by that amount (without lowering anything else) and that problem takes care of itself.  I literally saw no problem in doing this.  The numbers were just arbitrary anyway, right?

Needless to say, soon I stopped using the site altogether.  I thought to myself, "As long I have more money coming in than going out each month, I'm fine." No need to use an overcomplicated website and analyze fancy charts all day.  I just had to check my bank account balance every once in awhile, make sure the little number was black instead of red, and I'd be set.

I started to grow concerned however, when I realized that the little number never went much higher than the amount on my bi-weekly pay stub before dropping to zero at the end of the month.  I was living paycheck to paycheck and I had no idea where the money was going. I'm pretty sure that this isn't supposed to happen to a 20-something single guy who lives with his parents.

So, I've come to the hard realization that "winging it" is never a good approach to personal finance, no matter how burdensome or daunting it may be.  I logged into my mint account for the first time in ages a few months ago and am now learning how to actually stick to a budget instead of whatever I was doing before.  I know it's working because I've actually said "No" to myself a couple times since committing myself to it.

Worthwhile financial goals for the immediate future:

1. Increase 401(k) contributions 
2. Add to my rainy day/emergency fund
3. Pay off all student loan/car debt (almost there!)
4. Save for a house

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On a semi-related note, I found myself growing antsy waiting for my W-2 form in the mail so I could do my taxes this year.  This was the first year I had to shell out some cash to do it online because I made just over the arbitrary limit (like tens of dollars. grrr.) that would have allowed me to do it for free on H&R Block's website.  I ended up switching to Turbo Tax and paying probably way too much for the convenience when I could have just filled out a paper form for free.  But regardless, as of last night, my taxes have been filed and I have a tidy sum coming back to me in a few weeks.  Hooray for money.  Hooray for getting excited about old people things.

do work

When I meet someone new, one of the first things that usually comes up is the topic of what we do for a living.  I hate this part.  As soon as the words "Census Bureau" leave my mouth, people usually have one of two reactions.  They either ask if I count people for a living (a funny joke. really.) or they lose interest and politely change the subject.  I can't blame them if they do the latter.  I wish I could say I am proud of my chosen career path, but let's face it, being an analyst for the Census Bureau has to be one of the least glamorous jobs I've ever heard of. The list goes something like this...

My top 3 least glamorous jobs:

1. Elementary school librarian
2. Census Bureau Analyst
3. Whatever Ned Flanders does for a living

When I was in college, I used to imagine attending ritzy "networking events" and pulling out a crisp stack of cards from my perfectly tailored jacket pocket to hand them out to anyone and everyone who would take one.  Only, I never imagined that I'd be anything less than thrilled with what was printed on the front.  So, there is an unopened box of business cards sitting on my desk at work, crying out for attention, their pristine edges having never felt the loving embrace of their proud owner. Ok, that's a small exaggeration. I've given out a few, but only out of obligation, and certainly never at a ritzy anything. I don't think they exist for Census employees. The point is, I haven't ever felt anything more than mild resignation toward my current job.  

The biggest mistake I made was eventually letting this feeling affect the level of effort I gave at work.  I always justified it by telling myself that 1) "the work is not that hard" (somewhat true) and 2) "I'll be on my way out as soon as I can find something better so why give 100% now when 90% is enough? When I find something worth my time, I'll try my best." A couple things recently occurred to me however.  The first is that I've been at my job for so long now (4 years this Feb) that this once temporary mindset has long since become standard, and the second is that I've been forming work habits with this mindset that will probably stay with me regardless of where I go next, unless I make some changes now. Whoops. 

"Surprise! You're lazy!" 

Not the easiest pill to swallow.  

There's a verse that says something about doing everything you do as if you are doing it unto the Lord. Conceptually, I always understood and appreciated the sentiment, but I never imagined that it also applied to my work. It's probably easier to live this out if you're that pastor in Korea who rescues unwanted babies in a box or a conservationist off in the Amazon rainforest documenting the plight of endangered pygmy sloths or something else similarly heroic and glamorous, but surely Jesus has better things to do than to keep track of my time sheet or worry about the fact that state government revenues dipped slightly in FY 2012. I mean, I guess someone cares, but there are clearly more pressing matters to deal with, right? 

I watched this sermon by Tim Keller recently and his words changed the way I look at work. I realize now that I'd been looking at it all wrong.  I used to think the previous verse meant that I should work hard because my work somehow benefits God (i. e. the focus was on how much I could accomplish for Him, which consequently meant that I also took the glory for doing x, y, and z). But in actuality, to summarize one of Mr. Keller's (actually Martin Luther's) points, the work we do is important not because it benefits God in any way, but because when we work, we are actually actively involved in doing God's work here on earth (i. e. the focus shifts to what He wants to accomplish through me, thus giving Him the glory). He illustrates his point by saying that God could just magically make food appear in front of us 3 times a day, but he chooses to let others (the farm girl, the truck driver, the cashier at the store) take part in his work and, in turn, blesses us through their work. 

It requires some mental gymnastics on my part, but I have found that this truth applies to even an average Census Bureau analyst like me. This year, I want to undo some of my bad habits and learn to give my all before I leave this place.  I still haven't given up searching for more glamorous careers though.  

My top 3 most glamorous jobs:

1. The Stig
2. Youtube celebrity/vlogger (some of these guys make 6 figures just by talking about nothing to a camera all day)
3. Sofia Vergara's personal assistant/towel boy

In 2014, I resolve to DO (God's) WORK wherever I may be.    

homeless outreach + new years resolutions

This past Saturday, I went along with some youth group members to serve soup and hot drinks and pass out some donated jackets/care packages to the homeless in DC.

The night before, when I looked up the weather forecast, it said the temperature would be a cozy 11 degrees at 9 am the next morning.  At that point, everything within me told me to "forget" to set the alarm and skip the outreach.  After all, many of the parents had signed up and there wasn't really a need for extra chaperones.  No one would miss me, right?  Plus, in my mind, I kept trying to rationalize not going by telling myself that the homeless would all be in shelters since it was so cold out.

I don't know what made me wake up and walk out into the frozen tundra that morning, but consider it a minor miracle.  And I was wrong about there being no people to give food to.  Apparently shelters are closed during the day and only open up at night, even when it's 11 degrees out.  When I saw the army of people waiting for our supplies, suddenly I felt a small gratefulness for my space heater and warm blankets on my bed at home.

I won't say the experience was life-changing or anything that dramatic, but it's good to be reminded of Jesus' call to serve others, lest I begin to think of my own needs (read: wants) too much.  I am humbled by the fact that I did nothing to gain the security afforded to me by my parents and that it's just pure dumb luck that I'm not lying under a park bench in McPherson Square right now.

What shakes me even more is that I actually had the nerve to consider it an inconvenience instead of an opportunity.  If I had stayed home, I wouldn't have met Chung, a Bolivian immigrant with Korean grandparents (apparently Koreans love building cheap textile factories in Bolivia. who knew?) who reminded me that man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.  Or Ronny, who challenged me by asking if I really cared, or I was just out there because of obligation.  It was hard to look him in the eye.

This year, I resolve to think of myself less.

“For I was hungry, while you had all you needed. I was thirsty, but you drank bottled water. I was a stranger, and you wanted me deported. I needed clothes, but you needed more clothes. I was sick, and you pointed out the behaviors that led to my sickness. I was in prison, and you said I was getting what I deserved."  - Richard Stearns, president of World Vision

earlier tonight, my mom's youngest brother passed away from complications that arose after he suffered a heart attack sunday morning.

some of you who read this blog (if there are any left) may know him if you've been going to ncfc long enough.  his name was james choi, although everyone called him jae, (big dude, kind of nasally voice, usually making jokes).  he was an older member of focus for quite some time, although his presence at church diminished over the past couple months due to his health problems.

those months were rough for him.  he had always suffered with diabetes, but was able to control it with insulin and other remedies.  but recently, the disease grew more serious and caused both his kidneys to fail.  since then, he began falling down a slippery slope of one medical complication after another.  numerous times he was found at work, unconscious from dangerously high blood pressure.

finally, sunday morning, his dad (my grandpa) went into jae's room at 5 am to find him complaining of chest pressure/inability to breathe.  he called the ambulance, but jae suffered a heart attack going downstairs to meet them.  the emt's were unable to resuscitate him on the 10 min ride to holy cross.  while the doctors at the hospital were finally able to get his heart beating again, by then his brain had been irreparably damaged and he lay in a coma.

we found out later that evening.  at first, i had some hope that he might open his eyes again and return to us (after all, people wake up from comas), but this afternoon i received a text from my dad saying we needed to go to the hospital.

turns out, the doctor basically said there was no way he was going to wake up and we needed to make a decision on whether to pull the plug or not.  i never expected to be involved in a situation like this (at least at this point in my life).  to me, this stuff only happened in movies or on the news.   the whole ride to the hospital, i was kind of in shock.  i wasn't able to face my emotions at all (if i even had any at the time).  

it wasn't until i got to the hospital room that my emotions finally got ahold of me  my mom told us that the doctors said that a person's ability to hear is often the last sense to go when they're in a coma.  so she had us think of things to tell him as we said goodbye.  in the back of my mind, i really doubted he could hear us, so i almost didn't see the point in saying anything.  i figured i should though, since everyone else was.  i didn't really even expect to cry or anything since i'm a pretty stoic guy.  i didn't even cry when my grandpa passed away a number of years ago.  if anything, i would say my peace and be done with it.  but as soon as i opened my mouth, it was like the first word caught on my throat and refused to leave.  i don't think i remember ever crying that hard in my life.  i managed to choke out a few words till i couldn't think of anything else and let stacey have a turn.

that's pretty much all the details i remember.  turns out, his heart rate had started to slow before we got there so we didn't need to make the agonizing decision to take him off life support.  it's almost like he was trying to make it easier for us.  i heard my grandpa say he had even gone through the trouble of cleaning out most of his drawers/closet a couple days before all this happened.  i think he knew deep down that he only had a few days to live.  even in the face of death, he tried to make his family and friends happy.  that's the kind of person he was.

he lived a modest life to say the least.  he never married.  never even moved out from his parents house.  wasn't ever really successful career-wise (worked retail at macy's).  in the world's eyes, he wasn't all that.  but he loved his family and friends (often without receiving the same amount of love/appreciation in return).  i can't even count the number of times we'd be leaving his house after a family get together when all of a sudden he'd reach into his pocket or car trunk and bring out a random present he had bought for us since the last time he saw us.  he'd just say, "i thought of you while i was at the store."  it's not like he was even the worlds greatest gift giver either.  sometimes the gifts were downright tacky, but it really was the thought that counted.  let me remind you that he worked the sales floor at macy's for a while before having to be on a fixed income due to his health problems later on.  he didn't have much to give, but he gave what he had.  i only regret not wearing some of the things he bought me more often.  i could have shown a little more appreciation, even at the expense of looking tacky for a little bit.

he was also a really goofy guy, even into his late thirties.  a real kid at heart.  always making up crazy nicknames for us nephews and nieces (stacey and i were always "cutie patooties." even well after we started college).  always quick to tease his mom when she was being a little neurotic.  he was one of those people who are able to lighten the mood of the room just by his presence.

so i guess that's how i'll remember him.  he's gone much too soon, but he made a very strong impact in my life in the short time he had here.  if you've read this entire post to this point have a cookie on me.  also, tell your loved ones how much they mean to you before it's too late.

no title

i think i want to go back to school.
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it's late, will expand on this later.

resolutions

ok, so the last part of my last post wasn't completely true.  the sunday after i wrote it, i made my sixth graders make resolutions for the new year, so i jotted a couple down as well.

1. be more proactive - (i tend to keep my resolutions very broad so anything remotely resembling progress toward one is a positive thing).  proactivity is something i lack unless i'm extremely motivated or galvanized by a task set before me.  i'm too content to just, "let things be."  after college ended, i've become more aware of the fact that nothing will probably ever be handed to me again.  if i want something, i need to find a way to take it or make it happen.  opportunities rarely just present themselves unless i do something first.  i think this might be my hardest goal to accomplish, mainly because there's no way of really measuring it.

2. budget my money better - early on, when i first got my job, i made a mint.com account and set up a "budget" for my money.  x amount of dollars allocated for food, shopping, gas etc. every month.  what i didn't realize was that budgets are hard to keep.  i ended up just increasing the amount of money allotted to each category every time i went over budget.

ex.  "hm, this says i spent 40 dollars on fast food this month when i should have only spent 25.... i must have under allocated."

after a couple months of doing that, i said, "to heck with it.  i'll just wing it" and i've been doing that for the past however many months.  my finances aren't in complete shambles or anything, (i pay off my credit card in full every month, tithe, even manage to pay some of my student loan back here and there), but i've realized i am woefully lacking in the area of saving.  any money i have left over after all the necessary expenses goes toward food/clothing/gizmos/musical instruments, basically things for my enjoyment and pleasure.  i've set a goal of being able to put a down payment on a car by the end of the year, so i need to be saving money.  if it keeps going like this, i will be money-less and car-less at year's end.

3. eat healthier/exercise more - pretty self explanatory, but important nonetheless.  i've made the decision to eat "just a little bit healthier" for every meal i eat.  whether it's substituting a salad for fries at wendy's or skipping out on rice and a tortilla at chipotle (extremely difficult) or just eating less than i usually do, something needs to change every time i eat.  i kinda got started on this before the new year began so i hope i can keep it up.

4.  build relationships - this one is kinda funny.  i wrote it down with my timothy kids in mind, but my kids took it to mean "build relationships with girls."  that's all they ever want to talk about.  also kind of interesting is that j. birk actually preached about this very topic last thursday night at impact (the emphasis for this semester won't be so much on doing 1000 different activities, but building lasting/deep relationships with those around us).  i didn't even realize i had written this down as my #4 until afterward, when i decided to write this blog.  kind of neat.

as a result of this, i've decided to try to spend more time with my class.  earlier this month, my old 8th grade class got together with our teacher (ms. rachel park) for a dinner.  not everyone was there, but enough to make it seem like a reunion.  you could tell even though we'd been separated by distance, we were still part of a family.  i want that in the future for my kids.

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so, i guess you could say i'm close to perfect, but not there yet.

new year

i guess the new year is a good enough reason to update again.

i guess by most accounts, 2010 was a pretty crummy year.  economic collapse, unending war/joblessness, various disasters (both natural and man-made), and a pervading sense of doom and gloom seemed to rule the news headlines.  it's not that good things didn't happen, it's just that the problems seemed so much bigger.  i don't know; maybe that's just how i tend to perceive these sorts of things.

of course, we tend to dwell on the past.  it's natural.  but fear not, my friends!  God makes things new!  (thanks p. jamie)  i'm not usually one to wax philosophic or even religious in my posts, but this thought really hit me during the message this morning.  what a refreshing (and relieving) idea.  i'm locking this one up in my mind for 2011.

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as far as family activities related to this day goes, not much has changed ever since i was a kid.  church in the morning, dad's family during the day, mom's fam at night.  sae-bae and dduck gook along the way.  while not much changes, i'm glad some family traditions have stood the test of time.

one very important thing was different, however.  since i'm now "a working man" (as my mom likes to say), i no longer get money for doing sae-bae.  while i was just a little bummed about it (not really), it was good to bow to and honor my elders without the financial incentive.  it's almost like not getting presents for christmas. you get to reflect on what's really important without any of the distractions.  it was funny seeing some of the baby cousins learn the ropes though.  bow, mumble something in korean, profit!  a few were reluctant at first, but once they figured it out, the change in their attitude was like night and day.

i guess this is one of those "seasons of life" things.  one period has ended (my poor un-self-sustaining era), and one has begun (not as poor, a little more self-sustaining).  soon, i'll be filling those little bank envelopes with cash and wondering where all the time went.  not until i have kids though.   so hopefully, not too soon. :)

(for my non-asian readers who have no idea what i'm talking about, koreans get together with family on new year's day to pay respect to elders by bowing and saying something along the lines of "may you be blessed in the new year."  it's tradition for the elders to give some cash in exchange.  yeah, we're just a little bit materialistic.  but we don't put as much of an emphasis on christmas, so i guess we're even.)

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resolutions?  i don't have any.  i'm perfect.

sick days

I've missed work the past 3 days due to a cold.  In those 3 days, I have...

-woken up past 10am and gone to sleep before 11pm every day.  that's about 11 hrs of sleep a night.  word.
-beaten at least 3 video games i'd started a while ago but never played to completion
-spent an inordinate amount of time reading blogs/random websites/youtube (my newest thing = food blogs)
-started reading 3 books
-attempted to play the guitar.  having to stop every 15 seconds to wipe my nose put an end to that endeavor quickly.  side note, being sick makes my voice all gravely and low so its kinda fun to sing.  except being sick also makes me cough.  pros and cons i guess.
-finished off every half-eaten bag of chips in our pantry (and one slightly suspect half eaten hershey's bar.  totally worth it.)
-watched wayyyy too much sportscenter even though nothing ever changes.  (it's like a drug.  once that intro music starts, it's like a tractor beam for my eyes.)
-not changed out of my pajamas.
-had to schedule a doctor's appt b/c the federal gov't wants a note if you skip work for 3 days or more.  wtf man.  i thought i was done with school.  now i'm gonna be that idiot who wastes the doctor's time (and $20 worth of my insurance copay) all for a stupid cold.  i wish i could just go in and say "i need a note. i don't even wanna see the doctor."
-blown (literally) through 2 double sized rolls of charmin ultra.  my trashcan is overflowing.
-been bored enough (and had enough time on my hands) to update this thing.

but i'm getting over it.  i should be back to normal by tomorrow if not the next day.  hooray work. :(

all i want for christmas is....

1.  slippers for wearing around the house so i don't have to put on socks (already checked off, i think)
2.  wool socks for when i do have to wear socks (possibly checked off)
3.  warm leather gloves
4.  a pair of hop-along boots and a pistol that shoots
5.  dolls that will talk and will go for a walk
6.  starbucks' salted caramel hot chocolate (it's like caramel popcorn....but you drink it. yeahhhhhhhh)
7.  this lil' guy (watch from 40secs on)
8.  a commute that doesn't require me waking up 3 hours before i sit down at my desk.  or...
9.  tons and tons of snow (enough to cancel work from now until march)

my mom loves me

when i told her i thought my big head might be a hindrance to getting a girlfriend, she says...

 "...don't worry, pretty girls like ugly boys!"

thanks, mom.  i love you too.

about time i showed this blog some love

after a long hiatus, i've decided to update this thing once more (for real this time).  i don't know why i've been so streaky with my updates.  let's just overlook my negligence and move on together, shall we?

some things that have been happening:

i started teaching a 6th grade sunday school class (mentioned in this post).  although i was a little hesitant at first, the kids are awesome (most of the time) and easy to teach.  i think i dodged a bullet because none of them are outwardly rebellious in class and they all seem interested in contributing/making their observations and opinions heard.  i think one of the difficult parts of youth ministry is getting kids to open up, especially once they hit high school.  from my observations, it seems that sixth graders aren't as self-aware yet, so they don't mind talking at length about whatever comes to mind.  to them, everthing is important and must be discussed at length NOW, even if it's woefully off topic. this has a negative side too, of course.  i have to keep reminding them to respect each others' opinions and be quiet when others are talking.  but i'll take too much talking over none at all. 

while teaching has its perks (being a teacher means i get to make the rules), it's weird being in a position of (limited) power.  i'm much more comfortable in situations where an organized structure is already set in place and all i have to do is fit in and play nice (being a student or an employee).  the burden of leadership is one that i'm not completely familiar or comfortable with yet.  sometimes, in class, i kind of zone out and wait for someone to say what we're doing next or give instructions.  then i realize that everyone is staring at me.  but, i'm getting better at it.
 --

 recently, i was challenged by a friend to try to go one week without being sarcastic/self-deprecating.  it's kind of a weird challenge, but one i brought upon myself after one too many of my comments online may have verged on "mean" territory.  so, of course i had to agree.  it seemed easy at the time, but let's just say i failed spectacularly.  the very next (again, online) conversation i had with someone had me stumbling over my words like a fool.  i must have pressed the backspace button more than any other key.  in fact, to be honest, by the end of the week i had pretty much forgotten about the challenge and was back to my old ways.

i never realized how much i rely on sarcasm and self-deprecating humor in my day to day conversations.  in my mind, it keeps things light and easy going.  i hate confrontation/awkwardness so i use occasionally self-deprecating humor (inwardly focused sarcasm?)  to defuse potentially awkward situations.  also, when i'm comfortable around people, i tend to tease them; most of the time using sarcasm.  it may be a guy thing.  we  rag on each other a lot. sarcasm just helps accomplish that goal, i guess.  it's almost never biting or mean spirited (indeed, most of it is very well-intentioned), but man, do i use it a lot.  and i can see how it might not be as tolerated among members of the opposite sex.

to be fair, sarcastic comments have a way of losing some of their meaning in translation (esp. online), but i guess that's all the more reason to scale back my usage.  i'm sure there is some scientific explanation for why some people are more sarcastic than others.  it probably has something to do with it being a coping tool used by some to deal with some psychological deficiency/insecurity blah blah blah.  for whatever reason, its a part of my personality.  i don't think i'll ever be completely rid of it (nor would i necessarily want to), but i am focusing on being a little more cognizant of what i say and who i say it to.  being a little nicer never hurt anyone, right?
--

here, have a picture.

my class

Fall Festival 2010

some pics.

fruit ninja.  or healthy terrorist?

Reina the penguin

trash boy.  seriously.

hannah montana.

my cousin's kid, chloe.  she was unhappy with having to wear the hood.

caleb the viking.

bumblebee twins.   

those stripes are were individually taped on by hannah kang's mom.  

i don't know if i'll ever love my kids that much.

this was the most normal pose he'd let me take a picture of him with.

more cousins' kids.

constipated dorothy and hitler sheriff.

maybe more pics tomorrow if i decide to go to md campus' fall festival.

ultra food coma and update

i need to stop hanging out with friends on the weekend.  this is because my time with friends inevitably turns into my time with large quantities of unhealthy (and delicious) food.  if i just stayed home all the time, i would probably be skinny.  and not in the middle of the worlds most intense food coma right now.

that being said, i'd rather be fat and happy than skinny and lonely.  my life is filled with such complex dilemmas. 

other happenings:

1. as i'm writing this, the first wave of college students have started school again.  now i can laugh while they study and write papers and rack up debt up to their ears.  its only fair after being miserable this summer; having to wake up at 5:30 while everyone else stayed up late and woke up around 3 everyday.  oh, how the tables have turned.  enjoy your exams, suckas!
2.  the timothy retreat was an absolute blast.  it's amazing to see just how much everyone has grown and matured within the last year.  even though sometimes i wish they'd mature faster, it helps to realize they're just going through the same process that i so awkwardly struggled through just a short time ago.  and i'm not exactly "mature" either, so what are you even complaining about, dude? (i constantly have to remind myself to not take myself too seriously, or else i end up making myself look foolish)
3. on a related note, this coming fall, i will be charged with the task of teaching the rising 6th grade class.  not an easy challenge, but one i will relish (i think).  i asked my mom how to approach it and she said something very wise, "discipline without relationship incites rebellion."  the kids have to know i care about them and love them, or else they won't respond to anything i tell them.  what gives me the right to barge into their class and set up a list of rules for them to follow if they don't even know who i am?  we'll see what happens.   
4. my dumb computer broke, so i'm going to the store to get one today.  somewhere in tysons corner, there is a brand new macbook pro with my name on it.  yes, i am going over to the dark side.  i can't resist the multitouch track pad and the overall shininess.  i'm afraid i am too easily enamored with style over substance (in many areas of my life) and i will pay way too much for it.  but this has both, so it's a little better right?  still extremely expensive. 

overall, a packed week.  and i didn't even mention the AMP concert (which was awesome).

inside my stomach....

...there is a war being fought between a medium #6 from wendy's, a cup of frozen yogurt (with toppings), and a platoon of mcdonald's chicken nuggets.

this won't end well.

(a visual interpretation)

IRON CHEF

I wish we did cool things like this when I was in timothy... (watch in HD)



The vid is pretty long, but amusing.  Honestly, I was expecting inedible food from the kids, but they continue to surprise me.  Each dish was pretty tasty, which is more than I can say about some of my cooking endeavors.  Our team made the "Southwest chipotle bbq chicken burrito with coleslaw filling."  What a mouthful, literally.  Although it looked pretty plain, we ended up tying for first place (in the initial tabulation) only to lose by the judges final decision.

I was extremely proud of my group though. They were all good sports and all got their hands dirty while working as a team.  I technically couldn't help, so I was just running around, getting things from the kitchen and telling them what to do.  I felt like a stressed out mom.

A typical exchange in our corner of kitchen stadium went something like this...

me : "You! Grill the chicken!"
me: "You guys, cut the veggies!"
me: "Who took all the knives?!"
me: "HEY! Watch the chicken, its burning!!"
everyone else: (whimpering) "yes master"

As much as I was proud of the kids, I was also a little impressed with myself.  I mean this in the humblest way, becase I've never cooked anything in my life other than popcorn and microwave pizza - most of the time, burnt popcorn and still cold microwave pizza.  Maybe I should branch out now that I know I can at least make "Southwest chipotle bbq chicken burritos with coleslaw filling."

Anyone wanna take cooking lessons w/ me?

eventful weekend

i turned 22 over the weekend.  it feels the same as 21, which felt the same as 20, which felt the same as 19, etc. so, although my legal age is 22, my mental age is still hovering somewhere around 6.  i still laugh when i hear the word, "fart."

the problem with growing older is that, at some point, people start expecting you to act your age.  all of a sudden, it becomes unacceptable for a guy to still enjoy video games or watching cartoons.  well, i'm not getting any younger, and spongebob still makes me laugh (and i will probably never tire of killing zombies).  seems like my parents forgot to pass on the "growing up" gene.  but i'm sure as the rigors of life continue to pile on, my sense of wonderment and carefree attitude will slowly give way to structure and boredom.  :(

kinda random, but related, i have 2 cousins who were born on my exact birthday (july 31).  its just that one was born 12 years later, and the other was born 20 years later.  also, i share a birthday with harry potter.  and it's not in november (ahem, jonathan).

today, i took one of the youth kids out to a h.s. parking lot to practice driving for the first time.  i was a little nervous, but he handled it like a pro (just like me).  only, i found out later that he doesn't actually have his permit yet... so, what we did was very illegal.    sigh, you try to do something nice....

arubaruba

just got back from aruba.  some photo highlights of our trip below (taken from my sister's fb).

 iguanas and lizards everywhere...

my sandals chillin' on the beach

free rum punch (already in my belly)

awkwardfamilyphotos.com nominee

random goats in the street.  we killed one and ate it for dinner that night.

no joke, there were more chinese grocery stores/restaurants on this one 80 sq mi island than all of the md/dc/va area, including this particular gem.

coolest little hybrid shopping basketcarts.

baby beach.  look how shallow it is.  also, my dad likes to wear shirts in the water.

my hero.  this pic originally also included a lady wearing the most scandalous thong, but stacey wisely cropped it out.  oh, those crazy brazilians!

dinner on the beach.

stray dog we met at airport (and fed garlic bread to).

other things worth mentioning:

• flying 4000 miles to a foreign country only to eat home-brought korean food  for every meal.  or hard rock cafe...i know, lame. 
• we got into a minor fender bender.  apparently our tiny rental car was too small to be seen in this guy's rearview mirror, so he backed into us in a parking lot.  not our fault, but my parents still had to drive all over the island to try to get it all worked out with the insurance company and police department. 
• getting bumped up to first class seating b/c the airline overbooked economy.  they give you hot towels and hot nuts.  hehehehe.... hot nuts
• getting into the airport lounge at chicago o'hare b/c of my dad's ballin' g frequent flyer status.
• successfully tanning without burning.

but its nice to be home.  

wedding fun and vacation time

After today, I've decided I only need 3 things at my wedding to be satisfied:

1. a live band
2. friends
3. a wife

Heck, the last one isn't even all that important.  In my mind, a perfect wedding would consist of good food, friends, lots of gifts and staying in control of your finances as soon as you walk out the door.  Like a really fancy birthday party almost.

All rambling aside, congrats to my friends Taylor and Tiago even though they prob don't read this blog.

my cool name-card with drumsticks

wedding cupcakes

Didn't take too many pics, but it was a nice wedding.

This Sunday (tomorrow), I'm leaving for Aruba to meet my family (who is already there) for a week.  7 days of nothing but sleeping and beaching sounds alright to me.   Bring on the babes.

this looks sweet

i'll give a dollar to any girl that watches this with me.

edit: the video was removed from youtube for a copyright infringement. :(

98th percentile in protective instincts? Not quite...

Semi-serious/introspective post.  I'll probably stumble upon this post in the future and think I was incredibly lame for writing about this, but these thoughts have been resurfacing in my mind for the last 3-4 days so I decided it would be best to get them out. Bonus points for anyone who gets the above reference.  It shouldn't be hard if you've been semi up-to-date in watching recent movies (er, not so recent anymore).

I was recently talking to some friends and the topic of relationships came up; specifically speaking, those of our siblings (Stacey, if you're reading this, sorry).  As we were talking, the question was posed to me, "Are you a protective brother?"  When asked to clarify, they said something along the lines of, "You know, not laughing at your sister's bf's jokes, making him feel like he's on thin ice when he's around you, just being intimidating etc."  At the time, I kinda laughed it off with an "of course blah blah blah I'm so tough" type of answer and didn't think much of it.  But for whatever reason, later on, my mind kept coming back to this issue of protectiveness. Upon much further introspection, I finally succumbed to the realization that I am NOT the most intimidating person to be around.  And furthermore, were I ever called upon to "protect" anyone in a physical sense, I'd probably get the crap kicked out of me.  Some people just happen to be blessed with 6'3" 220 lb bodies and aggressive personalities.  I am not one of them.

However, I don't necessarily see that as an excuse not to be protective of my sister; at least in some way.  Who says protectiveness and physicality have to go hand in hand anyway?  I know plenty of people who are fiercely protective without being the most physically imposing (most mothers, heck, even my dog).  I think protectiveness has more to do with always having someone's best interests in mind and showing them that this is the case. 

Regarding my sister's situation, I think it means giving honest feedback and advice when needed, trusting her to make good decisions, and always being available to listen to her, should problems arise in the future.  I think my sister and I are very fortunate in the fact that we trust each other, and we're able to talk about pretty much anything.  I'm pretty sure that if I acted like an insensitive d-bag every time her bf came around, our trust would start to deteriorate and she would probably stop taking my advice altogether, even if it were well-intentioned.  Furthermore, if things were to not work out between them, she might even harbor some resentment toward me for never fully accepting him in the first place, or at least acting like it.  And from the guy's point of view, it's much easier to live up to the standard of being a good boyfriend if you're treated like one by your girlfriend's family instead of being looked upon with suspicion all the time.  I know this from experience...

I still won't laugh at his jokes though.  :)  Gotta make him sweat a little bit, right?