death and taxes

After I graduated college and started making some money, I set up a mint.com account to track my finances and budget.  I loved all the detailed graphics and analysis tools that I had at my disposal and also the feeling of "adult-ness" that came from worrying about grown-up things like loan repayments and 401(k) contributions.

Well, that feeling only lasted about 6 months.  Who knew that budgets were so hard to keep?  At the time, my version of sticking to a budget involved just increasing the amount of money allocated toward a certain category if I overspent.  Spend $100 more than my monthly allowance for clothing in May? No worries! I can just raise June's amount by that amount (without lowering anything else) and that problem takes care of itself.  I literally saw no problem in doing this.  The numbers were just arbitrary anyway, right?

Needless to say, soon I stopped using the site altogether.  I thought to myself, "As long I have more money coming in than going out each month, I'm fine." No need to use an overcomplicated website and analyze fancy charts all day.  I just had to check my bank account balance every once in awhile, make sure the little number was black instead of red, and I'd be set.

I started to grow concerned however, when I realized that the little number never went much higher than the amount on my bi-weekly pay stub before dropping to zero at the end of the month.  I was living paycheck to paycheck and I had no idea where the money was going. I'm pretty sure that this isn't supposed to happen to a 20-something single guy who lives with his parents.

So, I've come to the hard realization that "winging it" is never a good approach to personal finance, no matter how burdensome or daunting it may be.  I logged into my mint account for the first time in ages a few months ago and am now learning how to actually stick to a budget instead of whatever I was doing before.  I know it's working because I've actually said "No" to myself a couple times since committing myself to it.

Worthwhile financial goals for the immediate future:

1. Increase 401(k) contributions 
2. Add to my rainy day/emergency fund
3. Pay off all student loan/car debt (almost there!)
4. Save for a house

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On a semi-related note, I found myself growing antsy waiting for my W-2 form in the mail so I could do my taxes this year.  This was the first year I had to shell out some cash to do it online because I made just over the arbitrary limit (like tens of dollars. grrr.) that would have allowed me to do it for free on H&R Block's website.  I ended up switching to Turbo Tax and paying probably way too much for the convenience when I could have just filled out a paper form for free.  But regardless, as of last night, my taxes have been filed and I have a tidy sum coming back to me in a few weeks.  Hooray for money.  Hooray for getting excited about old people things.

do work

When I meet someone new, one of the first things that usually comes up is the topic of what we do for a living.  I hate this part.  As soon as the words "Census Bureau" leave my mouth, people usually have one of two reactions.  They either ask if I count people for a living (a funny joke. really.) or they lose interest and politely change the subject.  I can't blame them if they do the latter.  I wish I could say I am proud of my chosen career path, but let's face it, being an analyst for the Census Bureau has to be one of the least glamorous jobs I've ever heard of. The list goes something like this...

My top 3 least glamorous jobs:

1. Elementary school librarian
2. Census Bureau Analyst
3. Whatever Ned Flanders does for a living

When I was in college, I used to imagine attending ritzy "networking events" and pulling out a crisp stack of cards from my perfectly tailored jacket pocket to hand them out to anyone and everyone who would take one.  Only, I never imagined that I'd be anything less than thrilled with what was printed on the front.  So, there is an unopened box of business cards sitting on my desk at work, crying out for attention, their pristine edges having never felt the loving embrace of their proud owner. Ok, that's a small exaggeration. I've given out a few, but only out of obligation, and certainly never at a ritzy anything. I don't think they exist for Census employees. The point is, I haven't ever felt anything more than mild resignation toward my current job.  

The biggest mistake I made was eventually letting this feeling affect the level of effort I gave at work.  I always justified it by telling myself that 1) "the work is not that hard" (somewhat true) and 2) "I'll be on my way out as soon as I can find something better so why give 100% now when 90% is enough? When I find something worth my time, I'll try my best." A couple things recently occurred to me however.  The first is that I've been at my job for so long now (4 years this Feb) that this once temporary mindset has long since become standard, and the second is that I've been forming work habits with this mindset that will probably stay with me regardless of where I go next, unless I make some changes now. Whoops. 

"Surprise! You're lazy!" 

Not the easiest pill to swallow.  

There's a verse that says something about doing everything you do as if you are doing it unto the Lord. Conceptually, I always understood and appreciated the sentiment, but I never imagined that it also applied to my work. It's probably easier to live this out if you're that pastor in Korea who rescues unwanted babies in a box or a conservationist off in the Amazon rainforest documenting the plight of endangered pygmy sloths or something else similarly heroic and glamorous, but surely Jesus has better things to do than to keep track of my time sheet or worry about the fact that state government revenues dipped slightly in FY 2012. I mean, I guess someone cares, but there are clearly more pressing matters to deal with, right? 

I watched this sermon by Tim Keller recently and his words changed the way I look at work. I realize now that I'd been looking at it all wrong.  I used to think the previous verse meant that I should work hard because my work somehow benefits God (i. e. the focus was on how much I could accomplish for Him, which consequently meant that I also took the glory for doing x, y, and z). But in actuality, to summarize one of Mr. Keller's (actually Martin Luther's) points, the work we do is important not because it benefits God in any way, but because when we work, we are actually actively involved in doing God's work here on earth (i. e. the focus shifts to what He wants to accomplish through me, thus giving Him the glory). He illustrates his point by saying that God could just magically make food appear in front of us 3 times a day, but he chooses to let others (the farm girl, the truck driver, the cashier at the store) take part in his work and, in turn, blesses us through their work. 

It requires some mental gymnastics on my part, but I have found that this truth applies to even an average Census Bureau analyst like me. This year, I want to undo some of my bad habits and learn to give my all before I leave this place.  I still haven't given up searching for more glamorous careers though.  

My top 3 most glamorous jobs:

1. The Stig
2. Youtube celebrity/vlogger (some of these guys make 6 figures just by talking about nothing to a camera all day)
3. Sofia Vergara's personal assistant/towel boy

In 2014, I resolve to DO (God's) WORK wherever I may be.    

homeless outreach + new years resolutions

This past Saturday, I went along with some youth group members to serve soup and hot drinks and pass out some donated jackets/care packages to the homeless in DC.

The night before, when I looked up the weather forecast, it said the temperature would be a cozy 11 degrees at 9 am the next morning.  At that point, everything within me told me to "forget" to set the alarm and skip the outreach.  After all, many of the parents had signed up and there wasn't really a need for extra chaperones.  No one would miss me, right?  Plus, in my mind, I kept trying to rationalize not going by telling myself that the homeless would all be in shelters since it was so cold out.

I don't know what made me wake up and walk out into the frozen tundra that morning, but consider it a minor miracle.  And I was wrong about there being no people to give food to.  Apparently shelters are closed during the day and only open up at night, even when it's 11 degrees out.  When I saw the army of people waiting for our supplies, suddenly I felt a small gratefulness for my space heater and warm blankets on my bed at home.

I won't say the experience was life-changing or anything that dramatic, but it's good to be reminded of Jesus' call to serve others, lest I begin to think of my own needs (read: wants) too much.  I am humbled by the fact that I did nothing to gain the security afforded to me by my parents and that it's just pure dumb luck that I'm not lying under a park bench in McPherson Square right now.

What shakes me even more is that I actually had the nerve to consider it an inconvenience instead of an opportunity.  If I had stayed home, I wouldn't have met Chung, a Bolivian immigrant with Korean grandparents (apparently Koreans love building cheap textile factories in Bolivia. who knew?) who reminded me that man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.  Or Ronny, who challenged me by asking if I really cared, or I was just out there because of obligation.  It was hard to look him in the eye.

This year, I resolve to think of myself less.

“For I was hungry, while you had all you needed. I was thirsty, but you drank bottled water. I was a stranger, and you wanted me deported. I needed clothes, but you needed more clothes. I was sick, and you pointed out the behaviors that led to my sickness. I was in prison, and you said I was getting what I deserved."  - Richard Stearns, president of World Vision